Drunken Shenanigans
by AnimatedSM1
Summary: "They're drunk off their rockers! What can you possible get from those two in this state? Drunk karaoke?" Or what the title should say is, "How Haruno got everyone laid!". Warning: Minors drugged and suggestive content. Pairings: YukiYui and HayaHachi. Small implied HachiYui and HachiYuki.


Yukino didn't know how this has happened, but it was betted that this was her sister Haruno's doing. Earlier today, Haruno had came to her apartment with a plan to take Yukino and a small group of friends to a log cabin she had rented in the outskirts of the city. Predictably, Yukino had decline with more force than necessary but it seemed her constant rejection went in one ear and out the other. Haruno had already invited everyone and was sending a rental car to pick them up. Yukino was left with no other option but to come along. Thankfully the people Haruno had invited were just Yui, Hachiman, and Hayato; people she could tolerate being in the same log cabin with.

The trip went as plan without a hitch, and by the time the group had unpacking and settling down it was time for dinner. Yukino and Hachiman were in charge of dinner since nobody else knew how to cook. Well, Haruno did but she didn't feel like helping. Hayato offered his assistants along with Yui but she was told to just set up the table. Through out dinner Yukino was on pins and needles as she waited for her sisters to reveal her real intentions on dragging them all out here.

Did she want blackmail, something to hoard over all of them so they'll forever be her obedient puppets? She knew she wasn't the only one uneasy by all of this. The two boys were just as suspicious as her. It was only Yui who went on eating her meal without a care in the world and stuck thinking Haruno was doing this by the kindness in her heart. Oh how Yukino adored that innocent nature Yui had which was why she had to be protected from Haruno's claws at all times. Hachiman and Hayato can defend for themselves since they were more than capable of it.

"That was a wonderful meal, Hachiman! Yukino really lucked out when she found you!" Haruno complimented earning a glare from her younger sister. She lost counts on how many times she told Haruno that Hachiman was not her boyfriend. Hachiman frowned as well but felt too tired on constantly correcting the matter.

"Thanks, but your sister prepared the main dish. Me and Hayama-kun just helped with the sides." He told her but Haruno looked unimpressed and instead looked over at Hayato and grinned.

"This just takes you down memory lane, huh Hayato. Eating Yukino's cooking again really makes it feel like old times."

Hayato wiped his mouth with his napkin, "Not really, but it really was delicious. Thank you Yukino-san." He smiled at Yukino who nodded in response.

"Yeah, Yukinon prepares the best meals. If I could, I would eat Yukinon's cooking for the rest of my life!" Yui chimed in and gave a playful wink at the other girl. Yukino blushed a little but smiled regardless.

"I would not mind doing so, Yuigahama-san. If it were possible, that is."

"You'll wind up spoiling her too much if you do." Hachiman pointed out earning a pout from Yui and Hayato laughing. The atmosphere had suddenly lifted up, and for a moment, the four teens were starting to enjoy themselves. After dinner, they played card games while Haruno went back to her room.

"Who wants dessert?" Haruno asked when she came back hold a big box of expensive looking chocolates. Yui and Hachiman gapped, "Whoa, are those, like, gourmet chocolates?" The pink haired girl asks excitedly.

Haruno nodded and placed them in the middle of the floor where the teens were sitting. "I ordered them all the way from France and kept them in a cooler for a special occasion."

Yukino and Hayato gave each other questionable looks before Hayato spoke up, "What kind of occasion?" he asked not trying to hide his suspicions. Haruno laughed and waved him off as she sat down with the group, "Aw don't act like that you two! I just want us to have a good time together while we're still young!"

With that said, she opened the box and popped a piece of chocolate in her mouth. Yui grinned and helped herself to one as well. Against his better judgment and to indulge his sweet tooth, Hachiman had one too. His and Yui's eyes widen as their taste buds were exploded with the rich and creamy elegant flavor. It was chocolate sent from heaven and two couldn't help themselves but to indulge with more.

"Woooow~! This is soooo gooood!~" Yui moaned, overwhelmed by the gourmet treat. Hachiman licked his lips and nodded in agreement, "If it means I can eat sweets and other food this good, I would totally marry any rich old bag after graduation."

Haruno laughed and grinned at Yukino, "Uh oh, you better step up your game if that's the case, Yukino~!" she teased; a sour scowl was her only response. Yui turned to the other two teens, "Don't you guy want any? I'd feel bad if Hikky and me ate it all before you guy got a chance to get some." She asked, though it didn't stop her from eating another piece.

Hayato chuckled and shook his head, "No thanks. I don't have much of a sweet tooth to be honest." He admitted and Yukino folded her arms, "I'm fine as well, thank you." She then looked at Haruno again and saw that she had stopped eating and checking her phone. Haruno looked up and flash her an innocent smile, "I'm on a small diet. Plus, I wanna get up bright and early tomorrow and shouldn't eat too much of this chocolate."

"What do you mean by-" A loud hiccup interrupted Yukino before she could finish her question. Everyone looked over at the two chocolate lovers who had grown eerily quiet just now. Sudden panic and worry shot through Yukino and Hayato as they crawled closer to their friends.

"Y-Yuigahama-san? Hikigaya-kun? Are you alright?" Yukino asked sounding extremely worried as said two had their heads hang down, making it hard to make out their expressions.

"Guys?" Hayato reached out to touch one of them, only for Yui to shot up to her feet and jump on top of the couch with a wide grin.

"Oh my god, I feel so freakin' amazing! I wanna party my ass off all night long! Come on you guys! Whooo~!" Yui shouted and jumped up and down on the couch cushions. Yukino and Hayato gaped as the girl before them begin to dance around and make silly noises.

"Mmmm, I feel good myself." Hachiman's voice slurred as he leaned back against the couch and started giggling uncontrollable. Haruno crossed her arms and admired her work,

"Wow, the alcohol went through their systems rather quickly, huh?" she commented as she grinned at the two drunken teenagers. Hayato nearly choked on his own spit and shouted, "Alcohol?! Those chocolates had alcohol in them?" he looked back at the two who were clearly under the influence.

"As well as a tasteless drug said to enhance sexual urges." She added and giggled at Yukino and Hayato's dumbfounded expressions.

"Have you lost your mind, Haruno? We're all minors and virgins!" Yukino shouted, feeling her blood boil over her sister tricking her once again. Haruno laughed and waved her off, "Aw lighten up, sis. We're out here by ourselves so we can party as hard as we want. These two don't mind, right guys?" she said towards Yui who had jumped off the couch and now dancing all around the kitchen and Hachiman who was still laughing at God knows what.

Yukino narrowed her eyes, "They're drunk off their rockers! What can you possible get from those two in this state? Drunk karaoke?"

"Oooh~! I wanna do karaoke! Hikky, come on!" Yui shouted and ran over to Hachiman and pulled on his arm to stand him up with her. "Let's sing a love song together!" she giggled. Hachiman grinned and nodded, "Okay!" he agreed and the two stumbled/walked around looking for a karaoke machine that was nowhere to be found.

"I really hope you plan on taking responsibility if anything happens to them." Hayato said angrily. Haruno wasn't fazed and shrugged, "Of course, but I won't need to since they'll be all over each other in a few minutes." She pointed out as they heard a loud thud. Yukino and Hayato jumped to their feet and looked over to where Yui and Hachiman had fell on the ground, their bodies entangled together and their faces closing in on each other.

Acting quickly, both Yukino and Hayato ran over and separated the two as fast as they could before they did anything regrettable. Haruno laughed and sat herself on the couch, "Great team work, you two. Now it really does feel like old times!"

Yukino, with Yui in her arms, gave her a quick glare before looking over at Hayato with Hachiman slumped on his shoulders. "Let's get them to bed right now. The sooner they get to sleep, the sooner the effects of the alcohol will wear off." She instructed and Hayato nodded.

"Noooo~! I don't want to go to sleep! I wanna party some more!" Yui protested and wiggled her body making it difficult to hold her. Yukino grimaced and tried to quiet her down, "Shhhh, you have to go to sleep, Yuigahama-san. You are not yourself right now."

"Yes I am! Let go of me, Yukinon!" Yui whined until she finally pulled herself away from Yukino and started to giggle a fit.

"Try and catch me, Yukinon!" she shouted and started to run around the room with Yukino trying desperately to catch her before she hurts herself. "Yuigahama-san, please!" Yukino begged as she and Yui ran around the couch with Haruno recording the whole thing with her camera phone.

Meanwhile, Hayato was having his own troubles as Hachiman found it very necessary to cling to his body, making it hard to move.

"Hikigaya-kun, please. Let me take you upstairs so you can rest." Hayato grunted while trying to pull the other boy away. Hachiman giggled as his head rubbed against Hayato's chest.

"Heehee, you finally said it correctly." The shorter boy sighed and hugged his arms tighter around Hayato's body.

"Finally said what?" Hayato asked, still a bit off guard on how affectionate Hachiman had become. Alcohol was truly a powerful liquid.

Hachiman smiled up at him and Hayato thinks this maybe the only time he had seen the other boy smile. He seen him smirk and force a fake smile, but never smiled out of pleasantness. It was kind of weird seeing him act so happy.

"You finally said ma' name right, stupid! You…always mispronounce ma' name wrong…and I know~," he stopped to point his finger at the tip of Hayato's nose, "I know…you do it…on purpose!...You sneaky bastard!" His hand flopped back down and the rest of his body slumped against Hayato. The blonde stiffens his laugh and hoisted Hachiman up correctly so he could move him to their shared bedroom for the night. At least a drunk Hachiman was easier to handle than Yui as he looked up in time to see Yukino finally grabbed Yui by the arm to keep her from running out the door.

"Yay, you caught me!" Yui cheered while swinging her and Yukino's arm around. Yukino panted, feeling her limited energy running out.

"Yukino, do you need me to hold Yui too?" Hayato asked already carrying himself and Hachiman over towards the girls. Yui shook her head to stop him, "No it's fine. I can handle her. Besides, I don't want Hikigaya near her since he seems to be grabby right now." She pointed out. On that cue, Hachiman's hand reached down and grabbed a handful of Hayato's ass.

Hayato yelp and pushed him away and he tumbled on the couch with another fit of giggles. Haruno laughed with him, "Whooo, Hachiman has good taste. First Yukino and now Hayato? Somebody has high standards~!"

"That's not it at all! He's just confused and can't control his actions right now!" Hayato shouted, face bright red and fuming. Yukino sighed tiredly, "Just ignore her and concentrate on getting Hikigaya-kun in bed." She said and Yui pumped her fist in the air and cheered.

"Yeah, great idea, Yukinon! Let's all get naked!"

"Wait, what-?" Yukino wiped her head back in time for Yui to let go of her and strip off her top in under a second. Her large breast bounced inside her lacey pink bra as she swung her shirt around while laughing. Yukino gasped and quickly jumped in front of her to shield her away from the boys' eyes. Hayato covered his and Hachiman's eyes and turned their bodies away, blushing madly.

"Crap, put her top back on, Yukino!" he shouted, very embarrassed.

"I'm trying to!" Yukino snapped, blushing too while she snatched Yui's shirt and tried to shove it back on her body. Yui twisted and pulled away, refusing to put her clothes back on.

"Yukino you too! You too!" she laughed as she reached over and grabbed Yukino's breasts while the girl manage to put Yui's head through the shirt. Yukino yelped and out of instincts, pushed Yui away and covered her modest chest. This gave Yui the chance to run away again and Yukino let out a frustrated groan. It was like handling an over hyper child. Well…Yui was like that normally but not to this degree!

As Yukino chased Yui again, Hayato was trying to keep Hachiman's hands from grabbing any more parts of his body. This was the third time he had to pull a hand away from his backside!

"Hikigaya-kun, quit that!" Hayato yelped and finally pulled away from the other, face flustered. Hachiman hummed and smiled seductively, "I'm really lovin' you saying my name Hayato-kun~" he said, taking a step forward which made Hayato take a step back. Hayato glanced over at Haruno, who was watching from the couch,

"Haruno-san, please help us! I don't know how much more me and Yukino can handle!" he pleaded. Haruno smirked and only shook her head, "Nah. You four have never been this entertaining before. I'm eagered to find out who'll wind up in bed together by the end of the night." She winks suggestively.

Hayato bite his bottom lip to suppress himself from cursing the woman out. Right now he had to worry about Hachiman backing him against a wall with mischief in mind.

"Hayato-kun~" Hachiman sang as he slide a finger down Hayato's chest and looked up him with half lidded eyes. Uncontrollably, Hayato gulped feeling very nervous and answered with out thinking, "Uh, yes?"

"I really like you~" Hachiman replied, grinning the whole while as his fingers danced across Hayato's chest. Hayato caught those fingers and pulled them while forcing a polite smile, "Oh, I like you too, Hikigaya-kun." He thought it was best to just play along for now and agree with what ever Hachiman wanted to say. But Hachiman shook his head and pouted,

"Iiiidiot. Stop…trying to fake…everything…like its ok. It's fuckin' annoying." He complained. "I mean like like…as in…as in…" Hachiman was repeating himself, which was good because Hayato didn't want to know what he meant and just wanted to get him to sleep off the influence. But Haruno had other plans.

"As in what, Hachiman? Come on and let Hayato know your true feelings." She encouraged and giggled. Hayato shot her a look but then Hachiman dropped to his knees and started grinning again.

"Hikigaya-kun, are you ok?" Hayato asked about to bend down and help him back up, but than Hachiman pend his hips back with both hands and stared intensely at his crotch area.

"Hayato-kun… I like you… as in…I want your cock in my mouth."

The blonde's eyes shot wide, " _What_?" he demanded and Haruno was glad she started recording.

With a small chuckle, Hachiman leaned his head forward and put his entire mouth on the front of Hayato's pants zipper. Hayato yelp and tried to push him away only to lose his footing and instead, falling over on the side with Hachiman following with. Taking the advantage, Hachiman jumped on top of Hayato and pinned both his arms back and gave a seductive smile.

"You're all mine now, Ha~Ya~To~Kun~" he whispered softly before leaning down and giving Hayato a hard kiss. A muffled voice can be heard from the ground as Hayato tried to wiggle away, but despite being smaller, Hachiman pushed his entire weight down to keep Hayato trapped underneath him. To punish Hayato for trying to escape, he added some tongue to the kiss and even started to rub his crotch against the other's.

The muffled sounds started to die down and soon replaced with encouraging moaning.

Feeling a little bored, Haruno ended her recording of the two boys tongue wrestling on the ground. She got up and stepped over them so she can get to the kitchen to see how her sister and Yui were up to. They had been awfully quiet.

When Haruno finally found them, they were hiding behind the counter; Yui was dressed down to only her pink poka dotted panties and white socks. She was currently hugging Yukino from behind, one hand inside Yukino's open blouse and rubbing a nipple while the other hand was shoved down Yukino's jean pants. Yukino was on her hands and knees, panting, her entire face flustered, eyes clouded, and a bit of drool running down her chin.

Haruno snapped a couple of pictures before walking away.

When she came back into the living room, Hayato and Hachiman were gone and their shirts were left behind. Haruno quickly figured out where they went by hearing sounds coming from upstairs. It was a good thing she thought ahead and put condoms and lube in all the room's dressers.

She came back on the couch and sat down. She pulled out her iPad from her purse, plug in her head phones and decided to catch up on all her shows on Netflicks since it seems like her work is done.

When Haruno woke up the next morning, she found herself on the couch, indicating she must have fallen asleep at some point. She yawned and stretched before getting up and checking her watch, it reading that it was ten minutes to eight. Haruno got up and went to check in on everybody.

She first checked into the kitchen, since that's where she last saw her sister and Yui. She found them on top of the kitchen table, sleeping. Yui laid on top of Yukino, still naked except for her panties, socks now notably missing. Yukino's shirt was unbuttoned wide open, and her pants and panties were on the ground. Both girls were sleeping peacefully with no signs of discomfort to be seen. Haruno snapped a few more pictures and left.

Next she climbed up the stairs and checked all the rooms until she found the other couple. Hayato and Hachiman slept in each other's arms, naked in which Haruno assumed since they were still shirtless and the sheets covered their lower halves. She noticed two condom wrappers by the foot of the bed as well as an open bottle of lube half empty on the dresser. Haruno took some more pictures before shutting the door behind her quietly.

After making sure everyone was still asleep and gathered enough blackmail material, Haruno freshen herself up in the bathroom and went off to get some McDonald breakfast for all of them.

* * *

 **A/N: This is my first time writing Haruno and I'm not 100% sure if I wrote her correctly. It's kind of hard writing for a character as cunning as she is.**


End file.
